Sitting down to find space within myself to find more space without. This mala was such a gift at the right time. Neither of my pregnancies have been easy but I have been wondering at my own strength, whether I have what I need. At my own path, am I headed the right way? At the uncertainty of it all. Smoothly running beads between my fingers and knowing they have been held in the hands of women across the world, the outside falls away. There is no time here, only the movement of breath and mantra and emotion. Peace. Elusive and quicksilver slipping in and out between all the distractions of the day, I find it here.
“What are you doing mama?” My three-year-old asks me.
“Meditating,” I tell him.
“Because it makes my soul happy.” And together we repeat on an inhale and exhale. Ham-sa.
I am that.
Underneath all the distractions, the way my body is changing to hold another life, the way I get caught up in not being able to see, the way I am struggling to make room for myself while still be a mother, a wife, a friend, an artist – underneath all is the cool clear water I come back to. I am. Spirit.